THE PERFECT MAN?

What are we trying to teach us men? I would still like to be stunningly handsome and daring but wish I didn't! First published in Jeans Bothy Blether.

When I got back to the car today and looked in the rear view mirror, my hair was wet and trickles of water were running down my face. I tried to persuade myself that I looked manly and rugged like the man on the aerofoil sailing boat in the perfume advert (Although it now seems we call it ‘Parfum’ if  we are men; I do think the quirks of marketing are funny!)

But then trying to look like a rugged manly man is all down to marketing. What I had actually done was walk Dash the dog until I could see the sugar boat from the point. If manly is meant to be taking risks; my most manly action was trying to skirt the edges of the puddles at Ardmore without getting my feet wet and my second most, lifting a muddy uncooperative Dash the dog into the boot of the car and getting dirty hands.

It was a freezing day today and very rainy, I took pictures of bits of bark because the greyness of the day was so grey it wasn’t even grey enough to be interesting. My photos are blurry and I think I might pretend that was on purpose when I post them later on facebook. I have a day off and am meant to be painting the sitting room. Well I have painted it, but it looks all streaky. Wendy claims the walls need another coat of paint, I am hoping it will dry all over in an hour or so and I will escape the need to paint again.

While I was waiting for the paint to dry, I came across a text from Katrina at Jeans Bothy, asking if I was OK. Such acts of kindness are wonderful.

I am very ok. I have just been talking with Wendy, in a break from her work, about how lucky we are. The children are happy and healthy, we both work part time but put together, we earn enough money where we do not constantly worry about finance. On Thursday I pick up a Bike from the Bothy.  We have two weeks off at Christmas and will see family and friends.

At the same time I am not ok because at this time of year I miss my son much more than usual. It is so many, many, years since he has spoken to me. I know very little indeed about him; except he lives in Newcastle and is studying for a PHD in Philosophy and financing himself by being a Deliveroo bike rider.

That manly Parfum man; sailing the blood red sea? I would love it if we saw more images of us men being manly in other ways; hugging our children, buying them presents, daring to be silly in front of them, learning to apologise when we get things wrong or to let them get their way when they need moments to assert their own power.

We’re getting there but really: Parfum, expensive boats and danger!? I prefer muddy puddles and a comfy couch to watch ridiculously bad rom coms on telly!!